I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
