Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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