Apparently you make a good broom.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
