some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
My feet surprised me
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