8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
