real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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