I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
