the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
