I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
