im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
You can't special order awesome
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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