We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
