he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
