doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
