Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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