He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
