Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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