Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
