yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
