how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
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