Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Randomize
