i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
