I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
