i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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