There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
