i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Tornado booty call.. dedication
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize
