How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
