I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
