Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize