no, he came in my armpit
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize