marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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