Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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