I can text with my tongue
Its about making memories worth repressing
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
