I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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