I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
