Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
