Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Randomize
