i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm getting married
To pizza
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
