dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
