she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
