Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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