thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
