Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
