is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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