I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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