If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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