i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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