At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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