You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
