you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
