better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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