Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize