Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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