I faked an abortion last night.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i just had sex bonerless
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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