I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize