I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
