Don't you send me to vm
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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