Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
