how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
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