**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
