can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I want you more than these girls want KFC
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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