But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
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