I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
