Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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