Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
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