how can u be prego again
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Are we still banned from the library?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
