just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
