Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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