Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize