Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
