I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
