Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
