there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
