Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
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