when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
