so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
