Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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