So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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