in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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