I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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