Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
