Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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