I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
