Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
